Almost three years ago this guy said I love you, and I said thank you. I wrote about it, and the best part is it had a happy ending. Because I decided to not be afraid. I decided to take a leap even though that leap seemed like one only an adventurous frog could make. Let’s just say I’ve been successful at many things; relationships wasn’t one of them. This was different. I was different. He was different.
So we’re doing something I didn’t think I’d do again: getting married. I once said I was happily unmarried and that it wasn’t something that mattered to me. I still think marriage is just a societal norm and a legal transaction. I still think most people get married because they think they have to or they want a wedding. I had a wedding. It was beautiful. Everything planned very meticulously by me. A good marriage it did not yield. I do not regret it. It was what seemed right at the time.
Looking forward, I have no desire for a wedding. This time I’m more concerned about a marriage. Why did I change my mind? Why throw my ideas and convictions about marriage away? First, let me state I’m not against marriage. I believe any two people who are in love and want to share a life should have the opportunity to marry. I’ve witnessed many wonderful marriages. My grandparents were married for decades and seemed to always be blissfully happy. My Pop called my Granny sweet names like June Bug. They were a beautiful pair. They were so in love that even though my Pop passed 10 years before my Granny, she never even considered another man.
I also have many friends that have solid marriages. I was there for their weddings, watched them welcome children and continue to be happy and in love. How do I know they still like each other? I’ve seen them be affectionate, tease each other and laugh. Oh, and they haven’t killed each other yet. Their marriages have grown and changed over the years, but every good relationship should.
So why would someone who once said she was happily unmarried, change her mind. Well, I am a woman; we do change our minds. It honestly simply came because I want to call this incredible gift of a man my husband. I want to grow old with him and raise furry babies. Being his girlfriend just isn’t enough. Our decision to marry isn’t about anyone other than us.
I never really thought I’d find this kind of love. It wasn’t even anything I was seeking. It just kind of happened. I’ve never been happier, never had someone get me and more importantly be there when it mattered. In my life I’ve experienced so much pain and disappointment. Not with him. He’s a beautiful soul who always has a smile on his face. I’m a lucky girl and can’t wait to be his wife. I go into this with no delusions. I don’t think it will really change much between us. That’s hard to know. Life is unexpected. We really have nothing but this moment to be sure of; I don’t want to look back or look forward. I like being right where I am, and it’s sure nice to have someone I’m so sure of by my side.