I’m 35, Single and Not Freaking Out

Yes it’s true. I am an actual 35 year old, single woman who isn’t freaked out about it. Of course every rom-com movie and chick lit book, tells me the opposite. But my life is not a romantic comedy. Maybe a dark romantic comedy!

The point is that I’m single by choice. No one has broken up with me since I was 15.

I have several friends who are just now getting married, and I say – good move! Although I have other friends that married young and are surprisingly still happy. Not everything works the same for every one. I respect that yet some people seem almost horrified when I say marriage is not in my future. When I was married I felt like I was trapped. Yes a lot of that had to do with the fact that I married the wrong person, but I also think I’m too unconventional to be pressured by society norms.

Maybe the biggest reason I’m without worry is that I have not lost hope in love, which is saying a lot considering my long line of disastrous relationships: a liar, an alcoholic, a man with no backbone and one who always made sure he was the most important person to himself. Not that I’m perfect, but seriously if someone asked me my type, I would have said, “emotionally unavailable.”

But that’s not what I see in my future. I see the possibility of love. I’ve been in love twice in my life. My first love died several years ago, and I never got to say goodbye. The second one nearly killed me or at least my heart.

Lessons learned, right? I think so. The man in my life now has nothing but respect and affection for me. So yes I must be making better choices, but I still say no to another walk down the aisle. Because that’s not THE happy ending for me. I’ll make my own happy. No ending required.

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